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Here are hilarious rules to observe this December when you visit Mombasa and the commonly used terms

Dear Kenyans (Sana sana Nairobians) who will be coming down to Mombasa for the December holidays:

1. We people who live in Mombasa live in houses. Our homes. We don't sleep in hotels so stops asking us which are the best hotels in town.Imagine you can Google 'Hotels in Mombasa' but we can refer you to a few holiday homes and villa owners who do short term rental.

2. If you happen to be looking for transportation, numbers ofJamboJet, Modern coast, Mash, Dreamline are also on Websites.

3. Unless you are really close with someone, do not expect them to hire a car for you so that you can go laps with. Even if you are paying. Find one and hire for yourself.

4. Most Coasterians like Nairobians have schedules. Biryani is mostly a Friday dish after a long week and Friday prayers. Usianze kupiga simu Monday saa tatu asubuhi ati, 'Nipeleke nikakule biryani.' No please.

6. Ugali is called Sima, 

7. Pojo is green grams/dengu as you call them. 

8. There are meat, potato and green grams samosa. So specify or ask.

7. Ukwaju is not pili pili , pilipili are raw chilies 

8. Rice is wali, we don't say mchele. 

9. Mahamri IS NOT the same as mandazi. 

10. There are two types of bhajia. Bhajia za kawaida na bhajia za kihindi. The latter is smaller, dark brown and crunchy. Whatever you people call bhajia in Nairobi (Those potatoes with dhania) here we don't have.

11. Mombasa people are big on greetings and courtesy.

Shikamoo - greetings to a person way older than you. Around your parents age.

Marahaba - How you respond when a child says 'Shikamoo' to you.

Assaalam Aleikum is not kiswahili. Its Arabic for 'Peace be upon you.'

Aleikum Saalam is its response. This would get you a long way among Muslim folks.

If you are not sure on what greetings to use, a normal, 'Habari ya leo/asubuhi/jioni' works just fine. Especially with people who provide services. Gets you better services too.

12. You can carry all your hotpants, bikinis, booty shorts and what not. You can slay all you want but please when going to town try and dress decently. Yes your dress your choice but don't go to Old Town very indecent in the name of slayage. A summer dress would be just fine for town run around and errands. Trust me.

For the guys, vests si T-shirts. Please invest in a t-shirt or ask for sleeveless t-shirts fondly known as (Kata kono). Leave the faded, ugly yellowish vests in Nairobi.

13. Public alcohol drinking is highly frowned upon so unless you are in a cab, a private residence, a tuktuk, carrying a mzinga and Beer cans is not considered hip or cool around here. You might actually find yourself on the receiving end of some not so pleasant words.

14. While you people might be big on boozing and clubbing, Mombasa people prefer chewing veve, khat (Ghati) on Fridays and Saturday after a long week. Huku hatusemi "kuchana" tunasema "kuambua".

Make arrangements to drink on your own from morning, sisi huku tunakata maji from 4pm or 5pm.

If you decide to hangout with miraa chewers in Mombasa, please have manners. Stop asking 'Mnamaliza kuchana saa ngapi? Tunataka kuenda Club. 'Eeeeeeeeeeeeerm.....Tukimaliza utajua. 

12. South Coast is on the other side of Likoni ferry. Over 1 hour drive from Mombasa. Same as Malindi na watamu on the north. So unless you are in Mombasa Town, stop asking people to meet you up. That is a journey you are telling us to arrange. We don't like moving around.

12. All our clubs (we only have 6 or 7) clubs in Mombasa are around Nyali, Bamburi, Mtwapa and the island. Hatujui 'ni gani poa' ama 'Yenye hukuwa na ma dame wasupuu.' Explore and find the one you like most for yourself . 

13. Pirates is not the only. There are Nyali, Mombasa and diani beaches. Try and spread, stop behaving like form ones hurdled in one hangout spot.

14. Madafu na mnazi are totally different. One will get you drunk and the former is a refreshing fruit drink.

Oh and if you get hot and need those ice drinks, please zinaitwa "barafu". Don't say zile " ice ya juice". 

Most importantly, plan your vacation early to get good deals, huku Bado ni Kenya si Miami so public decorum and good manners don't leave in Nairobi. 

Have fun, take care of your belongings and above all...stay safe. 

Observe all Covid-19 guidelines and let's make this DrinkCember memorable!


Content created and supplied by: Bobo14 (via Opera News )

Biryani Kenyans Mash Nairobians Usianze


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