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Sex&Relationship

 

Love relationship

 

Dating Romantic

Why are Men between ages 18-34 poorer than Women if the same Age.

It could be true to some extent that the current life situations does not favor nor support the development and economic growth of young men within this age bracket because of certain fundamental factors in society. Take for example the way African boys and girls are socialized and the roles they are expected to play and take up as they develop into adults. Men are supposed to be the providers and foolishly, sheepishly they have accepted and taken that role, to an extent that if you are unable to provide for your family society looks down on you and even tell you that you are not a Man.

This has greatly contributed to a lot of pressure, especially with the onset of COVID-19 where a lot of people lost their source of lively hood.

Women within the same age bracket on the other hand take advantage of Gaps within the Gender norms and continue to demand it as their right, that the Man must provide support to her and the Children even when she earns, sometimes even more than the man. They will demand the Man to take care of all of the Bills in the Household, and also bear the responsibility of taking care of the immediate and extended family's from both sides. This pressure alone contributes to the man either sinking deep into debt, or is forced to device new ways of earning extra income in order to cope.

The women meanwhile will use their money and other donations from sponsors to Invest in self development and in buying of properties, which will be kept a secret, and the man is not supposed to know about these investment, which now acts as security in case the relationship goes south.

The Man will obviously sink deeper and deeper into debts, as pressure continues to pile up, to an extent that he is even unable to satisfy the Woman sexually. Its a known scientific fact that when you are physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted your sexual life and performance deteriorates, and with the onset of that, psychological effects of it start to take its toll, the woman will feel neglected and as the tension builds up the Man will start feeling depressed.

Marital problems like cheating and neglect eats up the trust between the couple. Fighting erupts and the disintegration of the family is eminent.

All the while the Man is unaware that the spouse, who is now economically independent, having amassed a lot of wealth through investment and support of sponsors does not care if the relationship goes south. The man has invested all he had in taking care of the family both the immediate and the extended.

In Kenya nowadays we see on the News, cases of brutality meted out on Women and Children and wonder what happened to the lovely Couple, who used to play and laugh together. Children also bear the brunt of the anger and are caught between the Violence at times ending up dead.

The man either later on identifies that all along his sacrifice of love was nothing, his commitment and devotion to the Woman wasn't worth it. He was just a means to an End.

How do we solve this problem given that society adores wealth and money more than the family values. Society measures ones success and development, by the amount of wealth and property that one has acquired whether legally or illegally no one cares.

I think young men entering into long lasting relationship need to wait and determine whether they can handle, or cope with the weighty issues that relationships are wrought with, prepare themselves for any eventuality that might arise be it infidelity, lack of Trust, rejection and have room to re-evaluate their relationship from time to time. They need to do a spot check on their Health both Physical and Mental and Negotiate for better terms in the relationship when it comes to responsibilities which must be shared equally.

Last but not least Men should also demand for transparency and accountability from their spouses or else they will end up miserable and poor in their old age, dejected, neglected and alone. Its very painful when your worth is reduced to nought. Men you really need to prepare yourselves for the aftershocks, look and evaluate your position in every thing you do.

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African

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