The dating and engagement periods of your relationship are a beautiful time for both of you. Romance is blossoming, you’re building dreams together, and anything seems possible.
Often, when we’re dating or engaged, we overlook some important things to consider. Below are some of the things we need to consider before we say "I do"
Before you take the leap into the lifelong covenant of marriage, it’s important to consider the goals and dreams that both of you are nurturing. Will you be able to support one another’s passions and pursuits? How will your marriage affect your goals, and vice versa?
Your family of origin has tremendous influence over your past, present, and future. Depending on the circumstances, the families you come from could have a tremendous impact on your relationship.
A difficult past or an abusive family of origin isn’t the death sentence for your relationship, but it is something to carefully consider. If this is the scenario you find yourself facing, seeking counseling together may help the two of you to prevent bad patterns from sneaking into your home in the future.
Spirituality is one of the biggest hot-button issues in relationships. It is deeply personal and can be an incredibly touchy subject. This is all the more reason to talk it over early on.
Having different belief systems doesn’t necessarily mean that your marriage can’t work, but you’ll have some very challenging waters to navigate–as a couple and between your families, as well. Add children to the mix, and things could become much more complicated.
What core spiritual or religious beliefs do the two of you share? Finding your common ground and working outward from there is a great first step.
It’s easy to say the past can’t define us–and it shouldn’t. But it can seriously impact the present and future more than you might like to admit.
Love and grace can overcome the most painful of past experiences, but working through this together now will help the two of you decide whether the past is going to prevent your relationship from moving forward.Are you willing and able to let go of your boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s baggage?
The way the two of you approach finances will absolutely impact your entire life. Communicating about money isn’t usually pleasant, but it will give you insight into one another’s habits and mindset when it comes to spending, saving, and stewardship.Money is cited in many studies as the number one cause of conflict in marriage.
What’s most important to each of you? You’ll find that the everyday priorities you hold will tell you both a lot about each other. Verbalizing priorities isn’t enough; you must watch one another’s actions in order to discern for yourselves what things to prioritize.
Your mindset is the lens through which you view the world, and if your mindsets clash with one another, it may be very difficult to face life’s ups and downs together. Listen to and observe one another; you can even ask each other questions in order to get a good idea of one another’s mindset
Being compatible with one another’s personalities and mannerisms is a very important factor to consider when you’re thinking about getting married.
It’s true that opposites attract; opposites attract, and can still be compatible. But sometimes our differences can throw us apart and it’s helpful to know what they are and how to navigate them. You might be very attracted to each other right now, but if you don’t get along, the attraction may fade with time.
Do both of you want to have children someday? What are each of your visions for the family you’re building together? If one of you desperately wants children, but the other doesn’t want to have kids (or if your desires for children are incredibly mismatched), you could be in for major heartache.
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