Being in love and sharing a part of yourself with another person is a blessing that not everyone get to experience. It is more than just heady feelings that you experience when you first lock eyes with the man of your dreams. How to determine upfront if this man you are keen to enter into a relationship with is worthy of your consideration? Of course, each person has their own set of unique qualities that either makes them a darling or a nuisance. Thus, it is crucial to ask ourselves what is our standard or qualities that we foresee being able to contribute to the relationship we desire in the long run.
It may seem discriminatory to highlight certain traits of a person to set them apart from others, but you will thank yourself for going through this ‘candidate filtering’ process before committing. You have to understand that your choices will have a big influence in your life and immensely affect the dynamics of the relationship in the long term. The effect will be much more evident when you begin the next phase of your life and start a family of your own.
So, what are the qualities that we should be on the lookout for in a man, who we look forward to join hands with at the altar? There could be a million and one other traits or qualities but the Bible has narrowed it down to these few as a general reference and guide for those who need it.
Just to be clear, it is not necessarily a good idea to depend on another person to make you whole and happy. Any behavior that deviates from that expectation might then upset the balance of the relationship and contribute to conflict.
If you choose well, you will have a lifetime of happiness. So, choose wisely
Is it Worth It or Not?
The important question now would be to determine if the person interested in you is worth your time and dedication and you can see having a future with them.
1. HE HAS INTEGRITY .
A man of integrity will speak the truth and his actions magnify such values.
Why is it important to ensure that your man possess this quality? Well, it would be comforting to know that you can depend on your man to see through his promises to you. He will choose to do something because it is right instead of finding an easy outlet to escape responsibilities. This demonstrates strong discipline and character in a person, whereby he shall weigh his decisions and its influence on the relationship with you.
In (Exodus 8:28-32) , integrity is portrayed as being able to give your word and honor it. Just imagine your partner making you a promise but never make it a priority to see it through. If this is a common occurrence in the beginning of the courtship, how will it be like when the relationship progressed further and turned serious?
2. HE DEMONSTRATES LEADERSHIP .
A man that possess great leadership first aims to serve others. He contributes to the relationship and steer it to the right direction.
Being in a relationship is a journey and effort is required to keep the relationship alive and thriving. It is no longer a one man show because now you are both involved and invested with each other’s life. You both share equal footing and play an active role to navigate the relationship towards a path of growth. Just as stated in( Genesis 2:21-22) , God took one of the man’s ribs and from that rib, He made a woman, whom He presented to the man as his own. A woman ought not to be portrayed as the weaker gender that she shall submit herself to her man.
In fact, a man of the household demonstrates leadership when he allows his partner to play an active role in decision-making as well. This is achieved through having a common understanding that all decisions are made in the best interest of the relationship. Your man approaches conflict and issues diplomatically and make you feel respected because he embraces your concerns. This makes for a harmonious bond which will likely affect your parenting-style further down the road.
3. HE IS A MAN OF FAITH .
Tough times don't last, but tough people do - Faith plays an important role to keep up the hope that better days are ahead.
He believes in God and upholds His word diligently, which reflects in everything he does. Just like a virtuous woman, a man who dedicates his life to God first will have a set of priorities that drive and motivate him in the relationship. He will set a good example through his words and actions when he is with you. He knows that he is not trying to impress the world with his relationship, but instead find it as a means to be closer to God and practice gratitude.
Knowing that life can take unexpected turns, a man of faith does not lose hope easily. Having faith is extremely important because it will demonstrate his commitment towards building a future with you. If your man bails at the first sign of trouble, then you might want to re-think if he will be there to see you through if something worse were to happen. Going through tough times with a man of faith is different because he knows that it is just a phase that will pass and surviving it with you will make the relationship stronger. It is reassuring to have a solid anchor, who is willing to endure the pains of life with you and work through the tough spots in life together.
4. HE IS PURPOSE DRIVEN .
Life can be filled with plenty of distractions and temptations. A man that knows his worth will focus only on that one thing that is worth fighting for.
In order to be successful in life, we need to have a purpose that makes us wake up every day looking forward to engage and participate in actions that gets us closer to our goal. Life is only meaningful when we attach it to a specific purpose, in which achieving it makes us a better person and we feel good about it. Just like in (Ephesians 2:10) , it says that we are created by God to do good works in which He has equipped us to go ahead and do it.
Although being in a relationship means you are both always in each other’s life, you still have to work on your own personal identity and individual achievement. This is because what you bring forth as an individual can help grow the relationship and allow it to flourish. Find yourself a man who is motivated and always makes good use of the talent and skills he possess not only for his own benefit but for others as well. It is not wise to determine your man’s worth by his stature, how much money he makes, or how accomplished he is because this may all be motivated by worldly desires. Nevertheless, it would indeed be a good bonus to have a well off partner, who makes it his mission to see that all the hard work is intended to grow what you both already have into something better. A good man with a higher purpose in life knows that nothing comes easy; he never complains of what he lacks but focuses on what he has and tries to make the best of it.
5. HE IS A MAN OF GOD.
A man that allows God to guide him in life has a clear path to follow, which is usually a blessed and wonderful route.
Why is this even an aspect of consideration to determine if your man is a potential husband material? Well, this aspect may be relevant for those who actually believe in God themselves. God looks upon marriage as a sacred agreement between a man and a woman, who choose to come together and commit themselves to sharing responsibilities, duties, and pledging loyalty to each other and to Him.
When a man honors God, he will prioritize His relationship with Him and use it to bless the relationship he has with you. He will constantly seek God on ways to enrich the life he intends to have with you. The verse( 1 Timothy 6:11), says that a man of God is one that will pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, and gentleness. It is indeed a great thing because all of his actions will be dictated by what God allows in a relationship and knowing that you are a gift from God will reflect on the way he treats you. It is more the better when both of you believe in the same almighty God because then you both will build a strong foundation that will serve as a good example for your children in what to expect from their future partner.
When it comes to choosing ‘The One’, you will know in your heart when God is trying to tell you what He thinks of your choices. God definitely has His plans for you whether you choose to marry or stay single for the rest of your life. Either way, any relationship you choose to be involved in will definitely be better when it is guided by the Lord.
At the end of the day, God only wants the best for you but He will not take away the freedom for you to make your own choices. However, He will guide you with these parameters that He believes will make it a better and meaningful pursuit.
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