Before you get too serious…
Is the new man in your life a keeper or a player? Before you get too attached, Steve Harvey, comedian and author of Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man , says there are five questions every woman should ask.
To make your intentions—and his—clear, Steve says it's never too early to strike up these conversations. "You start these questions the first day you meet," he says. "I don't care if it's at the club, at church, whatever."
Don't worry…Steve says if a man really wants you, these questions won't scare him off.
What are your short-term goals?
Steve says this is a question you need to ask on the first date. "That's important. You want to know what a guy's working on," he says. "You listen very intently. You use your investigative skills. You be smart."
What are your long-term goals?
Every man needs to have a plan, Steve says. "They have to be different from the short-term goals," he says. "If they're not different, you have a guy that's not really planning."
Once you're armed with this information, Steve says you can decide whether you want to attach yourself to his plan and take the relationship to the next level.
What are your views on relationships?
Family, friends, God…find out if these bonds are strong. Steve says a man's relationship with his mother is the most critical. "If it's nonexistent, that's a red flag. If that bond has been tainted or broken, please know he has no problem tainting or breaking yours," he says. "If you can't love your mother, please know he is incapable of loving you."
If you're spiritual—and he's not—Steve says you probably won't be able to change him. "Your cookie is not that good to make him go to church. He's had cookie before," he says. "He still ain't with the church."
What do you think about me?
Steve says women should listen carefully to how a man answers this question. It may reveal a lot about the impression you're making.
"He'll gladly tell you this. 'I think that you're great. I think you would make a great mother. I think you would be a terrific homemaker. I think you're very independent. I think you're very worthy,'" Steve says. "He's going to tell you all of this stuff.
What do you feel about me?
Once you have the answer to the fourth question, immediately ask the last one on Steve's list. In most cases, how a man feels about you will be very different from what he thinks of you.
"A man that has been thinking about you seriously has an answer for that," Steve says. "[He might say:] 'How do I feel about you? I feel like when I'm not with you, I ain't going to make it. I feel like you're the one for me. I feel like finally I've met somebody who I can share my hopes and dreams with.' … You may even find these words: 'You know what? I'm in love with you.' Which is what you're all looking for.
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