As I sip my cup of ginger tea silently in the corner seat at my favorite joint, I look at the table right opposite me and watch this couple holding hands, looking deeply into each other’s eyes and I’m like, they really love each other. I remain transfixed to this almost magical scene, wondering how two people can be so perfect together. I’m like, every girl deserves to have a man who will look at her that way (I know I do). A sudden phone call ruins the intimate moment between the two love birds, and from the look of things, the atmosphere changes to an awkward silence. I can tell by the look on her face, she is disappointed even as the man takes his leave. She immediately calls her bff, and all I can hear is “we make plans and he never sticks through to the end.”
Well, it is rude to listen into people’s conversations so I had to mind my own. I could tell this is not the first time this happened, which really got me thinking to the kind of relationships we are settling for. Because for this man to keep walking out on plans they have made together, as she put it, screams loudly of negligence. He probably sees her as just another option. She definitely does not deserve to be treated like she is only an option.
I know she is not alone. Most ladies go through such and even worse and suffer the pain in silence. So let me let you in on some tips in which you can make him prioritize you in his life
Know your worth
Girl, however much you read all those relationship books or try to understand him, if you do not have even the tiniest bit of self-worth, you will always be made to feel less important – and you will believe this is what you deserve. Always remember you deserve to be loved in the same measure you love back. You cannot give 100% and receive 20%
Compromise is two-way
It is important to note that no two people are the same and therefore you will have instances where you will differ in opinions and ways of doing things. But if you are the only one who is always having to concede, you need to really think long and hard about your relationship. Let him also learn that he cannot always get his way.
Do not hide your feelings
Of course he already knows you love him, that’s not what I mean in this case. You know of the saying, actions speak louder than words, right? So you have already told him severally (I think thrice is enough) of the things that are bothering you and he doesn’t show any signs of improving, let your actions show how you feel (you can choose to be silent, it really works you know).
Have a life that is separate from him (friends and family)
Visit your friends and family and while at it have fun. Keep in mind that these are people who you can always count on through thick and thin. Your other life should not be on hold simply because you are in a relationship.
Hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst
After all is said and done, if a relationship is not giving you the happiness and peace of mind you deserve, let it go. You are already grinding and hustling so hard, this should not be another battle you have to fight. Remember, it is better to have love and lost than never to have loved at all.
No doubt that love is a magical feeling. However, loving someone does not mean to lose yourself in the process. I believe in love making you an even better version of yourself. Being in a relationship with someone who does not see your worth is emotionally draining. You can try to fight for the love, but in the end if it is just another battle you have to win, it is not worth your peace of mind. One day someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked with anyone else.
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