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Never over-give to win someone’s approval, be yourself

There is a great misconception among people who over- give.

 That they can win the approval of people who don’t like them, by being overly friendly, by over-complimenting, over-dong and over-giving.

 This is not true.

 This need to have external validation runs deep. 

It is a coping mechanism that we learned as children when we were trying to win approval and affection from our primary caregivers.

 When our parents were in a bad mood, under the influence or even abusive, if we could make them happy and feel good.

 Always accept that not everyone is going to like you, and bear with that always, do not try so much to impress.

 If you’re face to face with someone that treats you like you’re beneath them, do not attempt to engage in a friendly banter.

 This is where you tell them how great they look, or where you’re inundating them with complements, hoping that that will change their mind about you.

 If they are an emotional manipulator, their entitlement allows them to believe that they deserve those accolades you’ve bestowed on them and they won’t respect you for uttering them, because they know how badly they’ve treated you.

 It will in fact make them think even less of you.

 All that will happen is you’ll get the same treatment and be out the money you’ll wish you hadn’t spent.

 If you’re in a gift giving situation, with people you don’t like, or who don’t like you, it’s time to set the rules about maybe only buying for the kids, or setting a low dollar limit.

 It seems nonsensical to buy gifts for people you wouldn’t otherwise cross the street to talk to.

 When you don’t care – do, buy or say whatever you want, as long as you’re practicing self-care. You can kill em with kindness, you can ignore them – whatever you feel enhances your emotional level.

 

 

 

 

 

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