Ms. Gladys Kagendo, a mother of one, recently turned 30 years old. At this age which of course is still in her youth, she has already been married, gotten pregnant and got divorced, all this in just 7 months.
However, in spite of her situation, she has decided to blame herself for contributing to the devastation caused by her marriage.
"I think that the events in my married life have been a great lesson to me. I do not want to blame anyone because I believe each partner was guilty of one or the other, for everyone who is married it is important to know what he or she can and cannot tolerate," Says Gladys.
Short marriage life
The woman got married in a very big ceremony held in Embu County, central Kenya.
When she got married she was eight months pregnant.
Gladys says they spent more than $ 5,000 to make the event a success that attracted many locals due to its prestige. Remember that when she got married she was eight months pregnant but no one knew except people close to her family.
"No one enters into marriage and plans to leave the next day, especially on the women's side, many enter with joy and determination to achieve it anyway" Grace says.
Prior to the marriage ceremony, Gladys had been dating her ex-husband for five years, after meeting him while she was preparing to join university. The courtship life she says was good because it was a time when they had just gotten to know each other, unaware that the unpleasant was waiting for her in her new marriage.
Despite her boyfriend's weakness, Mrs. Gladys encouraged him and continued to live with him regardless of the temptations that might have caused her to leave the courtship.
Her fiancé began to bring different women into his house.
She relates that at one point she was sent to a remote area far from where she lived with her fiancée and that is when she discovered her boyfriend's weakness. Her fiancé began to bring different women into his house.
"Not once or twice did I meet a woman in his house, and he always said that these were his cousins or his nieces, but the truth is that he had side chicks" recalls Gladys. Another thing that this young woman says she went through during her courtship was being beaten by her fiancé when she wanted to know about her fiancé's behavior with other women.
Despite all of this Mrs. Gladys decided to get married the main reason being the pregnancy she was having and secondly thinking that her fiancé would change. But as a religious woman, she did not want anyone to know that she was pregnant out of wedlock.
When the wedding day arrived there were celebrations of its kind, the crowd turned out and anyone who passed by the ceremony scene no doubt saw the pride of the wedding. Luxury cars, decorations, food and honored guests everything was luxurious.
But despite all that was going on Mrs. Gladys says it was a bride who did not enjoy her own wedding as the groom arrived at the church grounds late and did not show any concern. In addition, the bride claims that all the while they were swearing, she felt as if her husband's heart was not right with her.
"I was very surprised to see my husband on his cell phone while we were at our wedding ceremony," Gladys says.
Hard life after the wedding ceremony
It is not surprising, then, that life after marriage would be full of pain and suffering. The woman says that she was taken for honeymoon for at least one day, which surprised her. But she believed that things would change, and she encouraged herself and her family.
However, as she continued to live, she felt as if she were forcing herself to live in that marriage. One month after the wedding, she delivered her baby, she went to the hospital but her ex-husband did not have time to comfort her in the hospital.
On the day that Gladys was giving birth, her fiancée was not seen at the hospital, an event that had weakened her. She says that when her husband arrived at the hospital, her sister had already completed all the arrangements for discharging her from the hospital, so he did not fulfill any responsibility.
And since she had given birth by caesarean section Mrs. Gladys was not strong enough to do anything. And all that time the father of her child did not help with anything.
The turmoil in her marriage continued and Gladys forgot how married women smile. She says she had no one to comfort her in this marriage as she claims that her in-laws did not intervene to save the marriage that was about to fall apart.
But why didn't Gladys get out of that marriage?
Gladys says that as a woman she had decided not to leave her marriage, and that she was ready to fight for it and was confident that things would change.
Just five months after the wedding, her husband packed his bags and left, and the move marked the end of their marriage. Gladys says she blames herself for everything that happened to her marriage without forgetting her weakness of being angry. However, she says that her anger stemmed from her husband's inability to satisfy her urges.
After her marriage hit rock bottom, she had to start over again. She says she has gone through a lot of hardships in earning a living for herself and her son. One of the methods she used to move on with her life was to discover her singing talent which she is currently developing.
Secondly, she has been a counselor especially for girls and women, who are rushing to get pregnant with the intention of getting married. Gladys argues that it is far better for the child to be raised by a single mother than to be forced into marriage, which can have serious consequences, such as mental illness and stress.
"Do not date a man for any reason, be it pregnancy, money or anything because at the end of the day, a forced marriage has its consequences," says Gladys.
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