Sometimes it is not easy to overcome the pain of getting rejected by that person you really like. Here are simple steps to help you heal and move on.
1. Feel the feelings.
Allow yourself to experience them. Do not try to hide from them or push them away. Let them come. Feel them. Let them out. You may worry they will never stop but remind yourself it will get better. No matter how hard we cry, at some point we stop.
2. Understand you will go through the stages of grief.
The loss of a relationship is like a death. Feelings of disbelief, shock, anger, hurt, bargaining, sadness, fear and depression are normal. When a partner leaves for someone else, the grief can become even more complicated. The loss occurs but the person is still there. They made a purposeful decision to leave. Acknowledge your feelings, journal about them, and soothe them.
3. Think of your pain like a wave. There will be times where, for a brief period, you may forget about it and then it will hit you all over again. If you fight the feeling and try to push it away, it will grip you harder. Imagine yourself diving into the emotional wave. Let it come, observe it and allow it to wash over you. Let it go.
4. Gather your support system around you.
You may feel like withdrawing. You may have little energy for others. You may want to stay in bed. Reach out to others anyway. Allow people to be there for you. Let them listen. One day, you may have the opportunity to give that back. Let them provide comfort.
5. Stop the self-blame.
It is natural to turn the blame on yourself and ask what you did wrong, why you were not good enough. Remember it is not your fault. It takes two people to make a relationship work and only one to end it. You can invite a partner to go to therapy with you, but they have to make the choice to participate. Partners leave for many reasons. It may have more to do with their baggage than what happened in your relationship.
6. Practice self care. Try to eat well and get enough rest. Do things that help you relax. It is time to find your self again. Be kind to yourself. Spend time around people who love you.
7. Find a therapist who can help.
The journey of recovery after a partner leaves takes time, support and patience. If you are struggling with the loss of a partner, consider contacting a therapist.
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