Churches are filled with different types of people who go to church for different reasons. As others go to connect with their creator, others go to look for a romantic partner, show their fashion or even seduce their choir master.
1. The sleeper- These are people who sleep bites immediately they step in the church. They will sleep during the praise and worship session, during the sermon, and even when people are giving their tithes and offering.
2. The player- These are usually guys in the choir. They look good, dress nicely and have nice voice that can make angels jealous. They have plenty of women especially in the church yet people think they are waiting for God's time.
3. The one with a crying baby- You will never miss a mother in church whose baby is always crying. The baby will cry and scream when the church is quiet and when the preacher is just about to deliver the gospel to the lambs of God. The mama will be forced to go out and immediately she comes back in, the child will start crying and cause much fuss.
4. The one with funny unnecessary testimony- This type of people will repeat 'praise God' for like six times before getting into their unnecessary testimony. They will then go ahead to say how they slept last night, woke up healthy and how God saved them from stepping on a scorpion on their way to church.
5. 'Usiskize sauti skiza maneno' People- When you hear this statement, just know that whoever is going to sing has one of the ugliest voices in the world. I wonder how we can listen to the song without listening to the voice.
5. The dancer- These people will move chairs and dance like its their last day on earth. They will not care whether they break their bones or hit you in the process.
6. Brain washed followers- These ones believe that God left rules and commandments which need to be followed. They will always ask you if you wear trousers to church, get piercings or when you have friends of the opposite sex. They believe even social media is evil.
7. The late comer- These people will always wake up early and arrive to church late. Their heels make funny noises that attract worshipers attention.
8. The one with awkward moments- There will always be funny characters in church who have awkward moments. These are people who put the microphone very close to their mouth. Some may get stranded because they don't know how to adjust the microphone.
9. Holiday church goers- These ones will go to church during the holidays only. They will show up during Easter, Christmas and New Year then disappear again for like 7 months before coming back.
10. The show off- Even if the church is five minutes away from home, they will make sure they drive to church just to show off their car. They will wear an expensive suit, cologne and carry their two tablets and car keys with them.
11. Single and searching- Most people believe that good wives are only found in the church. They will religiously go to church every Sunday hoping that God will shine a light and show them the chosen one for them. Thanks for reading, please share widely. You can add yours on the comments section.
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