Do you like that kind of person who doesn' t know how to handle a win or a loss in a game in a light and fun way? So it is. If you don' t want your child to become an adult like that, teach him how to lose.
Don' t be sorry, don' t get carried away by tears or pouting. Children must learn to lose and parents who spare them defeat are doing more harm than good. This statement is from psychologist Lyn Fry, who explained to Mirror Online that society attaches too much importance to victory and this is highly detrimental to the construction of personality and to the consolidation of values such as resilience and justice.
Harmful is also the temptation to let the child win to see him or her happy. " Life is not like that. A father must prepare his son to be a sociable adult, and this involves knowing how to deal with losses" , whether in the field of friendship relationships or in a simple board game.
When they let their kids win in a fake way, the parents are not only de- educating them, they' re distorting their relationship with the child.
Kids need to see adults as someone who controls. When they realize they haven' t legitimately won, they believe they' ve taken over and this can turn them into anxious people. They need to know that their parents are stronger and that they can always intervene.
This is not to say that educators should fall into the opposite situation, that is, be too severe and critical. Receiving criticism all the time can give the child the idea that this is the right behavior. Which is not good either.
Another problem with false victories is the issue of pride. And no child will feel real pride if they know they' ve won a rigged game.
As an adult, it' s embarrassing to stumble across people who can' t handle winning and losing in a fun way. " Loss is something inevitable in life. It is essential to teach strategies to deal with it. Now, if the child always ' wins' , he will never learn to face adversity" .
What you need to know about games, winning and losing
1. Choose the right game. When kids are very young, choose games that they have some chance of winning. " Board and table games are great for development, " says the expert.
2. Let your child win at the start. " Children get bored and lose interest when their first attempts fail. Allow them a couple of wins and then make sure the best wins. "
3. Set an example! When you lose, be encouraging. You can say, for example: " It happens! I will have to try harder" . " Let them see that losing isn' t the end of the world. Parents sometimes get emotionally involved and are almost as irascible as children when faced with failure. "
4. Show them the correct behaviors. Watch games together and see who greets the opponent and who doesn' t. Likewise, draw attention to the way in which certain lack of education by athletes is punished. " If your child is about to participate in a competition, make a theater, without exaggeration and fun, based on how he can behave whether he wins or loses. "
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