Assess the situation before reacting
It’s always advisable to cool yourself down and address the situation logically because anger is never a wise advisor. Take a breather and gather information about the whole ordeal because you might realise that your child is in the wrong, maybe they have hit another kid, have broken someone’s property or maybe they've have misbehaved in class. Although your impulse may lash out at the other person, but it is useful to consider what you would have done in the situation if the roles were reversed.
Make your presence known
Actually, it can changes the dynamic of the conversation when you assert yourself in the situation completely. Your child feels safe and protected as the opposing adult has to be more respectful facing someone of their own age and they are not the final authority of the situation now. You can try the technique of mimicking the other person’s stance and body posture,it's called creating a rapport, and it's considered to be a powerful way to resolve potential conflict and to appear genuine and trustworthy.
Make your child feel understood
You can be sure that the whole situation can make your child feel disorientated or frightened anr therefore, you are advised to be patient with уour kid and make them feel like their emotions are understood and validated. Go down to their eye level and ask them to explain what’s unfolding. Before rushing into judgement, listen to their interpretation of the events because, when the child feels understood there are chances for them to understand what you have to say and reconsider their behavior in the future.
Use humor to diffuse
Humor has a great capacity to diffuse difficult situations and lower stress levels. When you tell a light-hearted joke can instantly make the people around you feel closer to you. Furthermore, it can help strip the urgency and the seriousness of the event and give all the parties involved a new perspective about the state of affairs. But you have to be extra careful with the specific jokes you are making because some kinds of humor can come across as sarcastic and belittling, and can worsen things.
If the other adult is an authority figure in your kid’s life like a school teacher, coach or a relative, it is important to set boundaries to prevent similar situations. Remember that, you are not requesting a green light for your kids to run rampant in the classroom or on the court but, you are just negotiating that the person use the same discipline techniques that you are using at home. This way, you will be creating a consistent view in your child’s eyes about what is right and wrong and how wrong-doings are punished.
Explain the situation to your kid
It is important to discuss and patiently explain everything to your child when everything has settled. This step is crucial because how you perceive mistakes can have long-lasting effects on how your kid tackles mistakes and setbacks. Try to comforting your child but refrain from giving them pity because it can send a harmful message that they are completely in the right or cannot know what is the best. You should instead remain firm in your position and calmly explain why those types of actions are undesirable.
When is it ok for another adult to discipline your kid?
It is your duty as an adult to teach your kids to respect authority and behave per the accepted social norms. They have to recognize themselves as a part of a community and realize that there are people in charge of any groups in a particular community. For example, when your kid misbehaves in class, the teacher has the right to point that out and make the case as to why these types of actions are undesirable. But an important fact to remember is that, treating children with anger has serious repercussions. Yelling at a kid can lower their self-esteem, promote anxiety, and break the trust between the parties. Therefore, It is our responsibility, as adults, to discover common ground with our kids and treat them with the respect and patience they deserve.
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