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Dating Romantic

How To Act When You Are With The Opposite Gender

When you hold him, let it be a simple holding of his hand to guide him across the road or something of that sort. Do not interfere with his autonomy and his growing sense of independence by continuing to handle him like the child he once was.

To keep your hands on his shoulder, adjusting his jacket here, rubbing something off his face there, these are very emasculating things. But since he doesn't want to offend you he may not object.

The thing with raising a child is that you must grow with them. When they cross stages you vary how you relate with them to avoid awkwardness and friction. But how many parents are actively trying to acquire knowledge and inform themselves on how to parent better?

Also, avoid calling boys romantic pet names. It's confusing. Take that energy to your girls and your lovers. Call him 'son' or just a variation of his real name. That's enough. These other shenanigans of sweetheart, baby, prince, my king, my angel, my world... you know who you're supposed to take that energy to. Stop having emotional incest with an innocent boy.

Also, stop telling tiny boys that they're 'your world.' Where was your world before he was born? Get a life, Karen. This is only a child. Do not burden them with your emotional needs. Go get emotional support from your friends and your circles, or therapy.

Avoid that toxic transference. Relate with your son like a son, not a pseudo lover or a tool for scratching your itch for love.

Hug him decently from that point on. Reduce these damn kisses. Who said he needs them anyway? Also, when you visit or pick him up at school in the sight of his friends treat him like a young man, not your pet. When teenagers are together their consciousness is very high. Get to know his friends if he comes along with them. He has a world of his own now and it's very meaningful for him when you acknowledge it.

And please note, this problem is NOT peculiar to single mothers. It's a risk for all mothers of sons because they often form a very strong bond from birth and breastfeeding, which is the right thing at that time. But she may not know how to let their bond evolve and progressively allow the boy to individuate and occupy his own space while still having a very healthy friendship with him.

3 Things You Need to Learn about the Opposite Sex | Psychology Today


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