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Impostor syndrome: A Threat in Relationships

Imposter syndrome is when people feel low about themselves. They believe that they are not smart enough as others think them to be and associate their success with luck. It can happen to anyone, regardless of one’s social or economic status.

For instance, when a woman gets high ranks in business and begins to lead men, she might at times doubt her abilities and believe that she is probably in that position because of luck and not merit.

Individuals that have imposter syndrome are characterized by self-doubt, negative thinking, self-sabotage and are susceptible to any form of criticism, including constructive criticism. They also associate success with luck and are greatly disappointed at the slightest flaw they make.

This syndrome can be caused by culture, whereby different cultures have different beliefs. A culture that links success to gender may lead to imposter syndrome among people from one gender. For example, if you come to a culture that believes males are supposed to be more successful than women, you as a woman may doubt your abilities when you get at the top and start leading men.

Family dynamics, especially parenting, may lead to imposter syndrome. Parents that put more pressure on success may make their children live in fear of failure.  Other causes may include competition and an individual's perfection mentality.

Imposter syndrome is dangerous in a relationship, as one partner might get tired of making their partner feel worthy.

 There are four kinds of people in a relationship world, based on attachment. They include the secure, the pre-occupied attachment, dismissive-avoidance attachment, and fearful-avoidance attachment.

The secure attachment can maintain a relationship, as they have a sense of self-worth and lovability. The pre-occupied attachment feels unworthy and unlovable, even though these people appreciate others. They try hard to make people see their worth.

The dismissive-avoidance have a sense of self-worth and lovability but have a negative outlook of others. They avoid relationships to feel independent and to avoid feeling vulnerable. The last group is the fearful-avoidance attachments that avoid relationships out of fear of rejection.

A person with the imposter phenomenon will have feelings of unworthiness and try to live up to a partner's expectations. The secure type will live life on their terms and somehow make the relationship last longer.

Try to live on the secure side of the relationship to make things easier for you and your partner. 

Content created and supplied by: Elsielusala (via Opera News )


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