Despite being one of the most studied human emotion it is the least understood human behavior with scientist being caught up in a dilemma of whether love is a cultural phenomenon or biological. Love can exists inform of friendships, infatuation or passion and it is exhibited by show of affection, care, intimacy, passion and commitment.
Portrayal of love has been well documented in love songs, romantic movies and novels but most people don’t know the exact meaning of being in love. The truth is that love is complicated and real-life relationships are difficult to maintain. For a relationship to actually be successful, there is a need to put in a lot of effort, exercise a lot of patience and set the right expectations.
Looking for the wrong traits when searching for a perfect partner has been a major contributor of people failing to find love. It’s the dream of every girl to be with a hot guy who has money, drives the best machine and who has a good job and men want a lady who is gorgeous, hard to resist and one who has a perfect body shape. You have to ask yourself how realistic are your expectations before going out to look for love. As a person looking for love you have to accept who you really are and set achievable expectations that will help you to find true love.
Setting unrealistic expectations about a perfect partner has made a lot people unlucky in finding love. Some have already come up with a checklist on the traits that the perfect partner should possess and this is people looking for love go wrong. Some want a partner who never complain because they think lack of arguments in a relationship is a sign of a perfect and a workable relationship.
The problem with this is that, everyone is a human being and our emotions are controlled by our hormones. A person may not complain in the early stages of a relationship but as the relationship progresses, they might change and find out that they have been bottling up all the negative emotions or stress and may end up being a nasty or a toxic relationship. To find love you have to set the right expectations and accept the fact that we are all human beings and we all have our flaws.
It’s always fascinating hearing how a khat consumer is fantasizing on banging a Victoria secret model. As the model is hitting the gym and eating healthy foods to maintain a perfect and a healthy body the khat consumer is just chilling at a khat base fantasizing on a moment lasting less than 15 minutes that will never happen in a life time. It’s highly unlikely that the paths of these two people will ever cross. As the model is making billionaire men to drool the khat consumer is wasting his time in the fantasy world.
Some people don’t find love because they have low self-esteem which is majorly associated with low self-confidence. If you have a tendency of apologizing way too much, poor social skills, not taking credit for your accomplishment and telling way too many self-replicating jokes then you might have issues of low self-esteem. Having low self-esteem is also dangerous for your finances because you are always prompted to buy things just to impress other people just to seek validation and feel better about yourself.
Self-esteem is nurtured from a young age and may depend on our family background or how you were raised as a child. Its not easy to become confident overnight but working on low self-esteem needs time to work on yourself, identify the root cause of your low self esteem and plan on how to work on yourself. Being sure of yourself gives you the upper hand of being a go getter and being sure of the qualities you want in a partner.
Other people don’t find love because they are still stuck with their past. Some are still hurting from the relationship that ended and did not have a chance for closure. No one has really ever come up with a set expiry date for how long you are supposed to grieve after going through a heartbreak. It’s okay if you don’t feel like dating for the next few weeks or months but if you find that its been over an year and you have not gotten over your ex-lover you need explore on reasons that are holding you back from dating again.
Finally, if you are not actually looking for love then it’s obvious that you are not going to fall in love any time soon. Some people just want to have partners for sexual gratification, have the bragging rights or they have bowed down to pressure exerted from the society to have a partner. This might be a note ringer for most people but the fact is love can be found with just anyone you meet in your life time.
You need to differentiate between emotional dependency and love. Some people have a tendency of finding all sought of ways to avoid being broken up with if they are already in a relationship.one way to know that you have emotional dependency issues is that you feel anxious when you suspect that your partner is mad at you and a tendency of doing things to please others.
Relationships and love are complicated and depend on compromise and effective communication. Make sure you look at yourself first before blaming the world for being cruel and not granting you with a perfect soulmate that you are searching for. Work on yourself constantly to improve on your appearance and character and actually you might find that one true soulmate that you are desperately searching for.
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