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Africa politics

My wife says hi: Here are the most common lies Kenyans tell each other

Often, no matter how many years you go to church and ask Yahweh to forgive your transgressions, often lying is difficult to avoid. When you're late for a meeting, you change the reality, bypass those in the queue at the hospital and access government services. In the midst of sobs and feigned smiles, Kenyans are skilled at saying half-truths while others can muster a stone face while lying through gritted front teeth. Here are most famous lies by Kenyans:

Nimekwama Mahali

Kenyans rarely admit to being broke. They always talk of kukwama only that they never mention how and where.  Showoffs use this phrase quite often as you will hear them on phone saying “Brathe nitumie one K mbio mbio nimeshikwa na emergency kidogo...” Their popular phrase comes in... “kuna mahali nimekwama...”

Nimeshikwa na Karau/Kanjo

There exist people who like to extort money from family and friends. They call in the wee hours of the morning with a sad voice... “fanya kitu maze nikubaya...” One is overwhelmed with concern and is forced to send the money.

Ungeniambia Mapema

Kenyans will not always attend to all events especially where spending of money is involved. So when you ask them to take you for a funeral they have this excuse to miss your invite with the phrase “Nimeshikana na kashughuli kidogo sitapatikana...”

Mama watoto says hi

Kenyan men are fond of leaving their wives behind when they pay visits. Inquisitive relatives and friends always want to know “Mama watoto ako wapi?” which most respond “Mama watoto ako tu hata ametumana salamu...” truth be told Mama watoto has no clue of his whereabouts.

Give me five minutes

Kenyans generally like getting late for meetings, dates appointments, weddings and even funerals. The commonest reason for keeping you waiting is the reassurance kiasi nitakuja and when you realise four hours have passed they promise to be there “in five minutes!”

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Kanjo Kenyans Nimekwama Mahali Nimeshikwa na Karau Yahweh


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